tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-198484802012-02-16T05:48:56.500-05:00Notes on relationships... family, friends, and strangers.miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.comBlogger891100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-24056752170732540092009-04-14T14:04:00.010-04:002009-04-14T14:29:38.595-04:00

That's a quote by English author Ashleigh Brilliant and I agree wholeheartedly.I divorced a husband because he lied to me. Well, he also screwed around but he lied about that, too. I've learned that a friend has either lied to me or perhaps she's just mistaken. I had been looking for information about a certain dead person and no matter what search terms I put in, I found nothing. I think I'm

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-27162455718350539242009-04-06T10:17:00.013-04:002009-04-06T13:16:47.543-04:00

That's when I planned on apologizing to my sister... when pigs fly. She phoned last week with some questions about our 81 year old mother's behavior. She made some statements that I disagreed with and thought were way out of line. It was a short conversation. She did most of the talking and I agreed or disagreed with what she said. We didn't quarrel or shout. It was mostly by our abrupt comments

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-71703232916283780322008-12-11T11:37:00.009-05:002008-12-11T12:13:58.497-05:00

Rod Blagojevich, the Governor of Illinois, has been thinking only of himself. Every action has a reaction and his actions are going to trickle down to his children. His wife is already implicated in the ugly situation but the kids are innocents who will be affected by this for years. The girls are 12 and 5. The youngest won't understand what's going on but the older girl will. No matter how

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-62661058112981593312008-06-26T23:03:00.006-04:002008-06-26T23:23:35.680-04:00

Work is something most of us have to go to every day and if you are lucky enough to be one who doesn't, bless you and enjoy your life. I've said before that I try very, very hard to get along with everyone and to accept people as they are. I work with some of the most unpleasant people I have ever known and it is beginning to get to me in a big way. I'm only into my second day of work this week

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-18132048399232795442008-05-28T10:46:00.008-04:002008-05-28T11:02:32.457-04:00

We don't have to like who our adult children choose to date, marry, or have children with. But I find that it does help to keep our mouths shut about it. I'm trying.I have so tried to like a certain young woman and every time I almost get there, she does one more thing that I find unacceptable. If not for an argument that brought my son to my house, he would have probably not lived through the

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-83743476423977921842008-05-07T11:24:00.015-04:002008-05-07T12:31:56.323-04:00

One of the great things about living a free society is the right to express our personal views. Yesterday as I was getting out of the car after going to vote, the neighbor across the street called to me. I helped her move a dresser, then we sat on the porch to talk for a minute. I asked if she had voted. No. Hmmm. She then told me didn't think Hillary should be running for president because the

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-63605249867333817542008-02-09T18:45:00.000-05:002008-02-09T19:15:59.540-05:00

It's nice to be remembered on Valentine's Day, right? But what about the other 364 days... okay, take off days for your birthday, anniversary, Mother's/Father's Day, and Christmas... that's 360 days. Wouldn't it be a real treat to get flowers, a card, or a box of chocolates on some of those days, just because?Actually, my second husband often brought me little gifts and flowers quite often. More

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-22226779850730742132008-01-14T10:08:00.000-05:002008-01-14T10:27:21.215-05:00

A new server will be starting work this week. Her mother is the one person I work with who drives me absolutely nuts! Pushy, rude, has to be in charge. We don't have a head server but this one thinks she is. I let it go without comment most of the time because she's a favorite of the boss... they drink together at the Moose. I guess I shouldn't have let my membership lapse.Anyway, I like this

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-31691775479692184022007-03-23T10:44:00.000-04:002007-03-23T11:04:37.176-04:00

When there are issues between divorced parents, kids are too often used to get what parents want. If you don't do this, you don't get the kids. If you don't agree to that, I'll say crappy things about you. How adult is this? It happens every day all over the world. Your ex may be a real jerk/bitch/whatever but the kids don't need to hear it from you. They'll find out in good time, in some way

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-76386471870480532642006-12-04T20:08:00.000-05:002006-12-04T20:36:29.668-05:00

I'm not a real Christmas-y person. Any problems in families and relationships seem to escalate during the holidays. Makes me even more glad that I'm single and unattached. When I was a kid, it seemed that Mom and Dad were always fighting during Christmas holidays. I'm certain that Mom was careless with money and Dad drank beer... a lot of it.No matter how old I get, there are always those

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1158975258359865782006-09-22T21:34:00.000-04:002006-09-22T21:34:18.373-04:00

In the previous post I said that I have always had a good relationship with my mother and then ended the post by saying that I got married at sixteen to get out of the house. I didn't get along so well with my step-dad and I didn't care for the lifestyle he and Mom chose back then. Once I was out of the house he and I got along much better and over the years we had a pretty good relationship.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1158941873717499902006-09-22T12:17:00.000-04:002006-09-22T12:21:27.086-04:00

I'm fortunate in family relationships because most of us get along well. Dad and I banged heads most of my life but made our peace before he died. Mom has always been pretty open minded and allowed us choices. My son and I have had a good relationship for most of his life, except for a few skirmishes during his teens. My sisters and I enjoy each others company because we're friends as well as

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1154530811292606402006-08-02T11:00:00.000-04:002006-08-08T11:50:32.650-04:00

People who go through life as victims just wear me out. Very few of us has had a perfect life. Things happen, some of our own doing, some not, but we can't change those things after the fact. We just have to live with them and go on from there. It's time to stop blaming parents, spouses, children, neighbors, the government... well, maybe not the government..., and whoever else these "victims" see

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1154011735071449492006-07-27T10:48:00.000-04:002006-07-27T10:52:15.896-04:00

This will come off as a rant and that's fine. I can't stand inconsideration. It's so unnecessary. It doesn't take much to think from the other person's point of view. And yes, this came from my place of employment. I started working as a waitress when I was 27 and I'm now 58. That's a few years of experience. I have done other jobs when I felt like I wanted to dump the food on my customers or

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1153075863805635622006-07-16T13:37:00.000-04:002006-07-16T14:51:03.870-04:00

I truly do make an effort to maintain good thoughts about others, about situations, and about myself. That means I often have to monitor my thoughts, stopping myself when negativity begins and turning my mind to something more positive.I have real difficulty doing that when anything brings one of my ex-husbands to mind. I don't dislike either of them, I just think they're jerks. I was going

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1153002488629358702006-07-15T17:21:00.000-04:002006-07-15T18:28:09.530-04:00

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We've all heard about the golden rule from someone, a parent or at church. But do we live it? The Committee For The Golden Rule http://patriot.net/~bmcgin/golden.html considers it to be "the underlying rule for right and wrong behavior."This thought has been reoccurring to me because of a situation at work. No, not a situation, a person. One

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1152553123055116662006-07-10T13:06:00.000-04:002006-07-10T13:38:43.256-04:00

I'm not much for keeping my mouth shut nor am I one to tolerate the inconsiderate people we sometimes have to deal with. But I need to keep this job so I bit my tongue. Let me tell you.I wait tables at a family owned diner, okay? In over thirty years of doing this work I have never know of shift change at 1:00 pm, as in lunch time. People take lunch from 11 am to 1 pm, right? I go in at 1:00 pm,

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1151870044797053642006-07-02T14:53:00.000-04:002006-07-02T15:59:34.923-04:00

Americans eat out almost daily. Some people never cook and eat every meal in a restaurant. Those of us who don't eat out often still know how to behave in a restaurant. Or not. Some suggestions:Rudeness to the server is never acceptable, nor should the server be rude to you. It will happen, however, when you take a superior attitude and treat your server in a condescending mannner. Everyone has

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1151866367013555512006-07-02T14:29:00.001-04:002006-07-02T14:52:47.033-04:00

Most of us have probably not reached the point where we are not affected by someone else's mood, particularly foul moods. When you go to the grocery, pharmacy, gas station, or restaurant, do you snap at the person working there? Prices too high, lines too long, don't have what you were looking for... not his fault. He's the low wage hired help and doesn't make enough money to put up with dumb

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1151330100315807522006-06-26T09:25:00.000-04:002006-06-26T10:27:08.430-04:00

I was browsing a book club catalog this morning and saw a book about how to change anyone. Is that really possible? And why would we even try? In order to change, a person has to want to make positive changes. I talked to the ex-boyfriend the night... a perfect example of a screwed up life... and he asked what he was to do to make his life better. I told him that he had to make a commitment to

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1150643397438509822006-06-18T10:16:00.000-04:002006-07-02T14:15:25.026-04:00

We must have banged heads from the day I was born. No matter what I did, it was never quite right. That was all so very important back then and doesn't make a bit of difference now. Dad has been gone for two years, too early. He was only 75, not an advanced age these days. I wouldn't want him to continue living as he was; it was an existence, not a life. The decision to let him go wasn't mine,

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1150384310035482122006-06-15T11:07:00.000-04:002006-06-15T11:11:50.096-04:00

Relationships involving children too often result in battles over them. It's our job as parents to protect our children. They aren't object to be fought over. See this at Window on smith Street: Thursday, June 15, 2006: http://windowonsmithstreet.blogspot.com/

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1150138541326657562006-06-12T14:51:00.000-04:002006-06-12T14:55:41.356-04:00

I had the entire weekend off... yay!... and still I was so very bummed. It could be that yesterday would have been my older sister's 60th birthday. She died when she was 21. She was my best friend and I miss her every day. The years make it easier but the pain of seperation never goes away. I love you, Gloria Jean.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1149437260758406472006-06-04T11:51:00.000-04:002006-06-04T12:07:40.770-04:00

Father's Day is the 18th of this month. I wanted to post this well ahead of the day for a particular reason. Many of us don't get along well with our dads. Well, actually, mine has been gone for two years now but we certainly had our battles while he was alive. I was his least favorite child and he had so many unkind words for me all of my life. When he was in a nursing home before his death, I

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1149258317183160792006-06-02T10:10:00.000-04:002006-06-02T10:25:17.260-04:00

I go to my job to make money, not friends. However, I need to be on good terms with the people I work with. I wait tables and it's difficult to smile and be pleasant with customers when co-workers are making me crazy. I don't need to be super-waitress, getting as many tables as possible. One of my co-workers apparently feels differently. We don't have stations, we all take care of the room and

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1149098185029893412006-05-31T13:26:00.000-04:002006-05-31T13:56:25.076-04:00

This blog hasn't been updated for the past week. I've been busy spending my mornings sending faxes and making phone calls to the senators from Indiana to stop the illegal immigration disaster. We're now on hold for a bit so I'm on to other things. See Window On Smith Street for details.Of all the varied traits we look for in any relationship, truth has to be the most important. If there isn't

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1148314983258018532006-05-22T12:07:00.000-04:002006-05-22T12:23:03.293-04:00

No matter how old the kids are, moms still worry about them. And do for them what they can. But sometimes mom needs the kids to do for them, especially if she doesn't have a man around to do the heavy stuff. We don't always like to ask, assuming that our children are smart enough to see when we need a little help. But just in case you aren't, think about these:Does your mom need help around her

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1147970096710914582006-05-18T12:34:00.000-04:002006-05-18T12:41:48.103-04:00

Yesterday a mom, dad, and a bouncy little boy came into the restaurant. It was the boy's 5th birthday and he wanted chicken with french fries and catsup. Okay and happy birthday! The mom asked several times if we had something that would do for a birthday cake for her little boy. No. Sorry, we just don't have any cake today. We have pies.Question. Why would this woman not have planned ahead for

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1147876035951503012006-05-17T09:40:00.000-04:002006-05-17T10:30:11.773-04:00

My supervisor has been at this job for 23 years and makes less than $10 an hour. This is criminal. How can an employer not value an employee who stays for that length of time in an industry that is known for employee turnover?The owner of the business lives in an area of homes that value at $200,000 and up. Average yearly income for that neighborhood starts at $100,000. At a rough guess, the

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1147793271845480692006-05-16T10:14:00.000-04:002006-05-16T11:27:51.966-04:00

What people reveal to complete strangers will never cease to amaze me. Yesterday a man and I were talking about another man who had just retired and the fact that he has been divorced for awhile and is still single. Why were we talking about this? The retiree had sent flowers to us at work; that's how the conversation started. Anyway, the retiree is a very nice man and the other guy wondered why

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1147702448987909232006-05-15T10:10:00.000-04:002006-05-15T10:14:09.000-04:00

Work is more than just clocking in, doing your job, then going home again. Where we work is… or should be… a community. Most of us spend eight hours a day at our job, working with the same people day after day. We get to know a bit about their lives as they get to know about ours. Or that’s the way it should be. It doesn’t matter if you work in a factory or an office or clean bathrooms for a

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1146672724904134512006-05-03T11:41:00.000-04:002006-05-03T12:12:04.960-04:00

I've never been the most compassionate person. My feeling has been that most people create their situations and shouldn't whine, but should work at changing what doesn't work. I've never been good around sick people or those who are mentally challenged. That has changed a bit since I've been at this job. Many of our customers are older people, way old, and their health isn't always the best. We

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1146500471740096572006-05-01T12:04:00.000-04:002006-05-01T12:21:11.776-04:00

My son phoned to say that the kids were home from the other grandma's and would I like to come over to see them? My car will not get there, my son. So he and his significant other brought the kids to me. It was good to see them, because visits are few and far between. However, phoning me was a test. My son believes that I favor his oldest son over all the other children. I do. It may not be fair,

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1146241904879695712006-04-28T11:47:00.001-04:002006-04-28T12:31:44.930-04:00

Most of us spend one third of our day at work. Why are there always conflicts between one shift and another? It's second shift's job; first didn't do this or that; we have more to do than they do. We're all in it together and it takes all shifts and every job for the entire operation to run smoothly. If something didn't get done, maybe it was to busy or the responsible person simply forgot. My

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1145583667431183942006-04-20T21:19:00.000-04:002006-04-20T21:41:07.493-04:00

I just read an article about a couple who gave up tv for their first year of marriage. Loud applause! I am not a tv watcher and can not understand how people can sit in front of that screen for hours on end. On the other hand, there are many who think I spend way too much time at this screen. My son says that movie watching is way of relaxing and this is my way. I find a distinct difference; I'm

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1145460888773714022006-04-19T11:25:00.000-04:002006-04-19T11:35:38.033-04:00

Dissention in the kitchen at work last night. Everyone there has a specific job to do and if it's not their job they're damned sure not going to do it. What is this? Why would a person be so afraid to do a little more than he's getting paid to do? Cooperation makes everything run smoother.That goes for work, home, and personal relationships. Not every job is ours to do, but working together for

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1145368931168145552006-04-18T09:50:00.000-04:002006-04-18T12:00:34.586-04:00

At work we were talking about what we had done on for Easter. I knew that my supervisor had planned a big dinner for her family and asked her how it went. Her divorced children argued over the kids. It's not really your weekend; my folks have plans for the kids; I brought them home last time. Is this really necessary? Does it accomplish anything except to cause more unhappiness in the kids.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1144252986123913662006-04-05T11:58:00.000-04:002006-04-05T12:03:06.150-04:00

If the entire goal of a relationship is to get the other person to do what you want him or her to do, what's the point of the relationship? Why would you want someone you have to change? Didn't you want that person for some of those qualities in the first place?We can't change anyone. We can only change the way we react to that person. Manipulation is a poor weapon. We can all learn which buttons

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1143687281942256232006-03-29T21:39:00.000-05:002006-03-29T21:54:41.956-05:00

There are times when we really don't know what we want... should we stay or go? Do I care enough about this person to work at the relationship or am I over the whole thing? It's not always easy to sort out our feelings but the back and forth stuff can't go on forever. There comes a time when we have to make that decision. We are not the only one involved. If there are children they don't need the

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1143484476051801032006-03-27T13:22:00.000-05:002006-03-27T13:34:37.583-05:00

There will be no services for my friend who died last week. Another friend said that Dave had said that if people couldn't come to see him before he died... I don't believe he said that. I rather imagine that he would have said that he didn't want people looking at him when he's dead. That would be more his style. In any case, there are no services, no nothing. That can be difficult for some

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1143217649615293812006-03-24T11:23:00.000-05:002006-03-24T11:27:29.636-05:00

A friend died yesterday. He was one of the most fun people I've known. He loved to laugh and make others laugh with him. Silly things and practical jokes. Never anything to hurt anyone. He will be missed here on earth and is now a delightful addition to the souls on the other side.I'll miss you, David.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1143128811423497232006-03-23T10:36:00.000-05:002006-03-23T10:46:51.446-05:00

I like my job. I've been there only a few months. I wait tables at a small local restaurant where the tips are very good. When I started I was part time but quickly went full time. I'm good at my job. The first of March I had to call off for two days because of this cold or flu or whatever that's been going around. I had a note from my doctor, as requested. In those two days, the owners hired a

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142798069319814172006-03-19T14:02:00.000-05:002006-03-19T14:54:29.366-05:00

Grandchildren are very special people in the lives of their grandparents. When they come to visit, daily routines are thrown aside in favor of special activities. Forget the day to day stuff that needs to be done; it will still be there when the grandkids go home. We like to spend all the time we can with these special kids. Rules are relaxed because we have learned that some things aren’t as

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142616940902250572006-03-17T12:27:00.000-05:002006-03-17T12:35:40.926-05:00

I spoke with a woman who used to be the receptionist at my mortgage company. (My mortgage company is actually a finance company.) Anyway, she was there one day and gone the next. She said she couldn't stand phoning people and harassing them for late payments. Sometimes she would cry for hours when she got home. That's no way to make a living. She found another job and gave the mortgage company

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142606618133271152006-03-17T09:38:00.000-05:002006-03-17T09:43:38.133-05:00

Today is my son's birthday... 34. I thank God every day for the blessing of this child and the gifts he has brought to me. I have a gazillion things to do today so this is brief. Happy St. Patrick's Day!

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142476531528019862006-03-15T21:20:00.000-05:002006-03-15T21:35:31.563-05:00

Parents and children don't always get along well. I guess that's putting it mildly. We need to remember that our parents aren't perfect people. They're just people, like anyone else. And our children? We raised them and helped them become who they are. We may not like some of the things our kids do, but we love them just the same.I'm so fortunate to have the parent-child relationships that I do.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142443621521261952006-03-15T12:19:00.000-05:002006-03-15T12:27:01.523-05:00

Did you ever notice that, as women, as we age we tend to become more like our mothers? That’s true. We may not like it all of the time, but it happens. Look at your female friends and family. See what I mean? I haven’t noticed that men become like their fathers so what’s with women? Is it in our genes to turn into our mothers? Keep in mind that none of this is scientific; it’s just what I’ve

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142299874676259222006-03-13T20:09:00.000-05:002006-03-13T20:31:14.806-05:00

Most of you probably want to be in a close personal relationship. But many of us don't. Not now. Not ever again. There is nothing wrong with being alone. I'm not lonely; I have plenty of interests to keep me busy. And I know many women who feel the same as I do. We're fine on our own.I don't think men feel as comfortable without a partner as women do. Men don't seem to be as comfortable with

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142195898712832802006-03-12T15:11:00.000-05:002006-03-12T15:38:20.313-05:00

The ex-boyfriend was here today. We went out for lunch and I helped him get his records ready for the accountant. He needs new glasses and has trouble reading small print. He's also very distressed . He has a lady friend that he has been seeing and she's also occasionally seeing another man. He's depressed and upset and doesn't know how to handle her indecisiveness. She has recently lost an adult

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1142011013917733642006-03-10T12:08:00.000-05:002006-03-10T12:16:53.976-05:00

If you have told your significant other that you would work at the changes you need to make, are you doing it? Are you really working at making those changes? Nothing happens in a day, but nothing happens without effort, either. Saying that you will work toward improving your relationship is one thing. If you don't follow through with action, that leaves the distinct impression that you don't

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1141922455142063872006-03-09T11:32:00.000-05:002006-03-09T11:40:55.166-05:00

A very upset young man was here yesterday evening. His 16 year old step-daughter is pregnant. He thinks she should have an abortion or give it up for adoption after it's born. Mom and pregnant teen plan to raise the baby. What to do?After some questions, this is what we concluded. The step-dad has no real say-so in the situation. He's simply a step-dad. So it's really out of his control. What he

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1141314156412263842006-03-02T10:14:00.001-05:002006-03-02T10:43:43.473-05:00

The ex-boyfriend phoned before I was out of bed this am. I hadn't had coffee and I'm not at my best in the morning but I tried until he started whining. He left work today... very unusual for him... because he didn't feel well and was depressed so he was home drinking beer. This is 9 am. I reminded him that he's been depressed for 50 years. He didn't know what to do about it , he said. Medication

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1141088922450702692006-02-27T19:30:00.000-05:002006-02-27T20:09:55.216-05:00

I was at Intellseek's Blogpulse yesterday and came across this blog about a lost camera. It's really more than that. Read the blog and some of the responses. Scroll down to the post "camera unlost, but not quite found" at http://lostcamera.blogspot.com/ An interesting commentary on society and morals. To summarize, a woman lost her camera in Hawaii. It was an expensive piece of equipment and she

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140982999168708532006-02-26T13:12:00.000-05:002006-02-26T14:43:19.253-05:00

I'm not married. I have been twice and have no desire to do it again. Ever. Two of my neighbors have been married for years, like 40. And they almost hate their spouses. Years ago, one of the women got a job after her kids were raised. She planned to save money for a divorce. That didn't happen. Her husband had a stroke and now she's stuck. Her husband is not disabled, he just doesn't get around

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140973499825338462006-02-26T11:55:00.000-05:002006-02-26T12:05:05.216-05:00

The ex-boyfriend has been phoning. He must be without fresh resources. He doesn't seem to grasp the fact that his life sucks because he refuses to make changes. He's an alcoholic. He is the most pessimistic person I know. Nothing is good in his life. His health is crap. He's lonely. Who is making him that way? Not me. I left him because I wanted a better life, one that has a more positive outlook

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140626945113139242006-02-22T11:44:00.000-05:002006-02-22T11:49:05.113-05:00

My two year old grandson hits little sister, who is not yet a year old. I've been wondering if hitting is a natural instinct or one that is learned. I've found a few articles that state that aggression is a natural instinct in males. So why hasn't the older grandson done the same thing with his siblings? Is it because he doesn't live with them so does not have the opportunity? Or is he just prone

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140626559518881082006-02-22T10:18:00.000-05:002006-02-22T11:42:39.566-05:00

What if, for one day, you turned off all negative thoughts? Our thoughts are more creative than we realize. When we give in to negative thoughts, we may be creating the situation that we don't want. When we expect the kids to misbehave, we may be causing that very thing. When we know Mom is going to say something hurtful and we wait for it to happen, it probably will. When we anticipate negative

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140459981308186052006-02-20T12:29:00.000-05:002006-02-20T13:26:23.800-05:00

I'm always interested in learning new things. Especially in the self-help areas. Any time I can learn one thing that helps me to live my life better, to help me become a better person, to guide me in knowing myself more clearly, I feel that I'm continuing to grow. Saturday I went to the library to get some audio books. I was exhausted and just wanted to rest, too tired to even sit up and read.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1140373071071064042006-02-19T13:08:00.000-05:002006-02-19T13:17:51.100-05:00

A note on keeping in touch with friends, something I seem not to be good at. Caroline phoned last weekend, apparently to let me know that I was welcome at her home at any time, advance notice or not. This tells me that I have not been keeping in touch as I should. It's not like she lives hundreds of miles away. It's just laziness on my part.Lee came into the restaurant the other day. Lee is close

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139931183247554432006-02-14T09:42:00.000-05:002006-02-20T13:44:23.433-05:00

It's Valentine's Day and you have no significant other to spend it with. It's not the end of the world. It's fine. It's okay. Think of it as a transitional period, a time of change. Perhaps this is a time to work on changing some things about yourself or to learn how to choose a partner more wisely or just to spend some time with your own thoughts. Being alone is how we perceive it; we don't have

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139778961328723182006-02-12T15:57:00.000-05:002006-02-12T16:16:01.376-05:00

Don't play head games. They're not funny. The ex-boyfriend phoned this morning and was here this afternoon. He's unhappy. There's nothing new there; He's never been happy for more than a few days at a time. He hates his job. His health is crap. Food doesn't agree with him. He doesn't sleep well. What has changed? Not one thing.When a person is unhappy all the time, wouldn't it be a good idea to

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139589623960405572006-02-10T11:31:00.000-05:002006-02-10T11:40:23.960-05:00

My oldest grandson is coming to visit this weekend. He brings me such joy. He expects nothing more than my presence. He doesn't want to go places or do anything more than hang out with Grandma while he's here. Maybe play with the boy next door.Today's children seem to need to be doing or going. My granddaughters don't seem as content to just be here. It's can we go, can we do? No. I'm not

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139588477443918462006-02-10T11:09:00.000-05:002006-02-10T11:21:17.506-05:00

We are bombarded by negativity every day, especially if we read or watch the news. It's easy to forget that there is a lot of good in our lives. How much more would you appreciate the people and things around you if you ended each day by listing five things you are thankful for? Not necessarily big, exciting things but everyday things that make life better or people that make you smile.I am

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139501391219542682006-02-09T10:23:00.000-05:002006-02-09T11:09:52.913-05:00

I work at a small restaurant. Many of our customers are older people. It amazes me to see the couples that have been together for a gazillion years. I can't think of anyone I would want to live with for fifty or more years but these people have made the commitment to stay together for better or worse and they have. For many of them, "the worse" is now. Many are on have fixed incomes, many

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139417338684602032006-02-08T11:43:00.000-05:002006-02-08T11:48:58.686-05:00

Some relationships shouldn't be fixed. There are some people who should be removed from our lives the minute they enter it. These include those who lower our self-esteem, those who belittle us, those who think that demeaning words are "just teasing", or behave in other abusive ways. Those who don't hold the same values and goals are also iffy. People who are users, who take advantage, should

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1139416932543794982006-02-08T11:31:00.000-05:002006-02-08T11:42:12.556-05:00

You've found someone that you know is perfect for you but it seems that other important people in your life don't see it that way. No one else seems to believe that this is THE person for you. Your friends, parents, kids... no one is seeing what you see. Do you think maybe you need to step back and take a longer look at this relationship? If those who care about you think that your new love

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138807630044297782006-02-01T10:10:00.000-05:002006-02-01T10:27:10.080-05:00

Communication doesn't happen if you're not really listening. If you're thinking about what you'll say next while the other person is still talking. If you're interrupting the other person to offer comments or criticize. In order to truly hear what the other person is saying, keep quiet. Let him finish what he's saying. He may not be going in the direction you think he is. If the conversation is

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138634896340723522006-01-30T10:10:00.000-05:002006-01-30T11:06:04.493-05:00

Changes are part of life. Change is to move us forward, to bring new challenges or rewards into our life. But when a relationship is on a downward spiral, it certainly doesn't feel that it's bringing any reward to us. I think feel is the key word here. Feelings are part of what make us human but they sometimes get in the way of our advancement. It's not easy to separate feeling from thought.Why

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138562000897954862006-01-29T13:48:00.000-05:002006-01-29T14:14:31.956-05:00

I had a slightly uncomfortable conversation with my seven year old grandson yesterday. First he asked why he was here. He said he couldn't really explain what he was trying to ask, but why was he here? I told him that there are different opinions but that I believe we choose our parents and many of the other people in our life before we're born, that he chose the mom and dad that he has. Yeah, he

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138379455068319702006-01-27T11:15:00.000-05:002006-01-27T11:31:01.960-05:00

Kids watch television and see all the stuff that is advertised and they want it all! One of my grandson's has a t-shirt that says "saw it, wanted it, asked Grandma, got it". That's the other Grandma, not this one. I don't spend much money on my grandchildren. I spend time. We do things that I hope will create memories, not a collection of more stuff. The kids all like to do things in the kitchen.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138137750112885922006-01-24T16:13:00.000-05:002006-01-25T10:10:47.850-05:00

Have you noticed how people stop being polite to one another after they've been together for a time? We tend to be polite to strangers... the girl at the check-out lane or the guy at the convenience store but not to the people we live with every day. What would happen if we spent one entire day treating our loved ones as nicely as we treat strangers?We get so used to the people we live with that

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1138043607317852532006-01-23T14:09:00.000-05:002006-01-23T14:13:27.340-05:00

Keeping score is exhausting... I did this, you did that, you should have done whatever. Why bother? If keeping score is important to you, it must mean that you're doing things, not for the joy of it, but because you want something in return. Think about it.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1137979754149825922006-01-22T20:17:00.000-05:002006-07-02T14:06:05.303-04:00

Look over in Links for... The Secrets to Creating Relationship Magic...Even if you've tried and failed a hundred times before, try one more time. You deserve it.Communication is the key! Overcome your communation challenges with Communication Magic.

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1137976673225574522006-01-22T18:52:00.000-05:002006-01-22T19:37:53.266-05:00

I spent a few days with Mom and had a great time doing not much of anything. Mom lives in a tourist town with lots of quirky shops so we spent several hours of an unusually warm January day playing tourist. We walked a lot and laughed a lot and it was fun. The next day we went into Bloomington to take care of a few things that can't be done in Nashville, spent a long time at Barnes & Noble, and

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1137521023487238062006-01-17T12:17:00.000-05:002006-01-19T17:28:12.423-05:00

I have edited and re-edited this post. I considered deleting it... it's not very good writing. But I'm going to leave it as it stands. We're just talking, right? So it doesn't have to be perfect but I hope it's helpful to someone out there.Why do we sometimes end up in really lousy relationships? It could be because we think with our emotions instead of with our mind. Let me give an example from

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1137518155025355242006-01-17T11:14:00.000-05:002006-01-17T12:15:55.156-05:00

Pessimism and negativity have a real effect on us and on our relationships. When we always see the glass as half empty, when we find fault with everyone and everything, when we see only what we don't have instead of what we do have, we're sending out negative vibes and creating more disharmony for ourselves and those around us. Don't believe it? Have you ever walked into a room and felt

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1136997454528153092006-01-11T11:30:00.000-05:002006-01-11T11:37:34.553-05:00

The negativity that surrounds us every day can have a major impact on us if we let it. For one day, listen to all the negative remarks, comments, and statements that you hear. Don't absorb them; just hear them. How much better would your day have been if you had not heard all that? Make a conscious effort to rid your life of negativity. Make positive statements. If your friends have a negative

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1136132409245228592006-01-01T10:08:00.001-05:002008-01-08T21:38:50.644-05:00

Phoned the ex-boyfriend this morning to wish him a happy birthday and ask what he would be doing to celebrate the day. Oh, same old stuff; work on my service truck. Fine. He works so hard at being miserable most of the time; there is never anything good in his life. That's why he's the ex. I don't need to be pulled down by someone else's negativity and it's hard not to be when it's an every day

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1136059293281456862005-12-31T14:53:00.000-05:002005-12-31T15:01:33.366-05:00

I fully intended to post every day but the demands of the holidays seemed to get in the way. Two of my grandchildren spent several days with me, and though I enjoy almost every minute of my time with them, it leaves little time for anything else. We played games and read books and watched movies and baked goodies. They argued and played outside and had neighbor kids over and took a plate of our

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135698301575735202005-12-27T10:42:00.000-05:002005-12-27T10:48:53.566-05:00

I’ve heard complaints recently that that a certain person never hears from relatives… aunts, cousins, parents. And why would that be? Does she pick up the phone to call any of these people? No. Why not? Too busy, not enough time, no long distance service, no minutes left on the cell phone, blah, blah. Are you relating to this? Phones are not the only means of communication, thought they are the

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135619257917424652005-12-26T12:41:00.000-05:002005-12-26T13:21:57.986-05:00

Christmas, that is. I hope yours was a good day; it has not been the best holiday here. I don't know if I could have done anything to change it. My son and his significant other are having some relationship difficulties and I'm doing my best to stay out of it. She avoids being anywhere that I am and that's her choice. I will not force myself into her life. The problem for me is that I don't see

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135536331067945572005-12-25T13:29:00.000-05:002005-12-25T13:45:31.110-05:00

Sometimes our expectations are too high during the holidays. We tend to expect everything to run smoothly, to be perfect. Chances are that it will not happen. Then we get upset and some of us just freak out. Don't do it. How disaterous is it if the pie doesn't set up, the turkey is too brown, Aunt Gussie can't come until after dinner, the potatoes land on the floor, or what ever calamity happens?

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135434174857664112005-12-24T09:08:00.000-05:002005-12-24T09:22:54.916-05:00

Today is Christmas Eve and many of you will be spending time with family over the next few days. It can be a difficult time for many people. While it should be a time of great joy, too often it's when all the family issues come pouring out. Before you get to the festivities, tell yourself that you will not let anything upset you. If things start to get iffy at your family gathering, take a few

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135264336011708392005-12-22T09:56:00.000-05:002005-12-22T10:12:16.076-05:00

I'm going to be spending time today finding sites that have good information on improving relationships. There is a lot of good stuff out there but finding it takes time so I'll try to save you some time by gathering what I think is helpful. Reading something that tells us we need to improve our relationships is not helpful... we already know that. We need to know how.We also need to accept that

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135190389925899702005-12-21T12:27:00.000-05:002005-12-23T12:14:37.020-05:00

Relationships change. We grow inwardly or we get over something that had been an obstacle to a good relationship or we accept that things just are the way they are. My dad and I had a terrible relationship. We loved one another, we just didn't like each other much. It could be that we each saw our own faults and shortcomings in the other. As a child, I was the kid who was going to catch hell for

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135137688152450222005-12-20T22:17:00.000-05:002005-12-20T23:22:46.066-05:00

They sort of say it all, don't they... lashing out. Our words can cut like the lashes from a whip, doing all but drawing blood from those we hurt. I did that very thing today to my mother and my sisters. At the store, no less, where there were customers who must think a nutcase sneaked in the back door! (I'll tell you about the store at the end of this post.) It was ugly and unnecessary. I can't

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1135040933262628302005-12-19T17:24:00.000-05:002005-12-20T15:42:20.733-05:00

When will I learn to keep my mouth shut? How many times have I lost a job because I think the boss is an idiot and say so? Well, this time I can attribute it to a lack of Prozac and a full moon. True statement. The turmoil in my son's life (see post below) has kept me upset, even though I know there is nothing I can do about it. I thought I was handling it well. Not. The holiday season played

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1134569208261254362005-12-14T08:48:00.000-05:002005-12-20T23:57:37.480-05:00

If you think about the varied personalities that work together every day, it's amazing that any work gets done at all. Where I work, there may be ten of us on any given day. Ages range from 18 to 63. We work in a fast paced enviroment. The key is that we all work together, helping the person who may be getting behind. We consider that someone may be having a bad day, not functioning at their best

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19848480.post-1134524568580103102005-12-13T20:22:00.000-05:002005-12-18T19:59:39.756-05:00

We have a relationship with every person we come in contact with... family, friends, co-workers, customers, whoever. Some are better than others. My relationship with my son is far better than the one I have with his chosen mate. That one is somewhere on the same level as those I have with my ex-husbands. Probably worse; I can avoid my ex-husbands.How we relate to others can affect us in many

miwisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14278375394259576406noreply@blogger.com0